Most of us do not easily speak our truth. Our behavior is determined by years of conditioning. We are told, “Be nice and polite,” and “Don‘t hurt anyone’s feelings.” We may be so bogged down with shoulds and shouldn’ts that we find it hard to identfy our true feelings...
“I dated her for a while, but she got way too clingy.” “I was interested in him at first, but then he became needy and controlling.” “I love my husband, but sometimes he‘s so distant that I don’t know what’s going on with him.” “I want things to work out with my...
At the risk of sounding like my great-grandmother, longing for the good ol‘ days, I can’t help but think back on simpler times when people would come home from work, throw their mail down on the counter, check their answering machine for messages and call it a day....
It seems to me in our great grandparents and grandparents’ era, people seemed to stay together no matter what. In today’s fast moving, perfectionistic world people seem quick to leave no matter what. In my therapy practice, I often help ambivalent clients...
Fortunately, my husband and I don’t argue very often. I think that’s partly because we’re both psychotherapists who’ve had a lot of training in communication skills. It’s also because neither of us has any problem saying we’re wrong about something, nor do we have any...
Do you ever have those moments when someone says something that renders you speechless? Your brain gets flooded, your tongue gets tied, and you simply don’t know what to say? Perhaps later you think of what you could have said or wish you’d said. Or maybe you get...
Parenting and nurturing a child involves many things: How we speak to our children, how we treat them and what we teach them, to name only a few. How we engage in these behaviors can also apply to how we parent ourselves. Whether or not you are the parent of a child,...
One of the most important aspects of being human is the fact that we have feelings --all day long. And yet, rarely are we taught healthy ways to cope with them. Who among us learned about coping with emotions in school? And how on earth did such an important lesson...
I used to be a perfectionist. Actually, it would be more accurate to say I was a black-belt perfectionist! Not that I ever came close to being perfect, but I had an internal program that told me I should be. My quest for perfection didn’t make me perfect, but it did...
“I shouldn’t have said that.” “I shouldn’t have done that.” “I shouldn’t have eaten that.” These are common phrases I hear from clients in my counseling practice. So many people are so hard on themselves so much of the time, believing that self-criticism will help...
Most people walk around lost in thought. It can be very enticing to spend the majority of our time thinking about the past or the future, and as a result, miss out on the present moment (otherwise known as reality!) Many years ago, when I began to read books on the...
