In a recent session with a client, we discussed the painful, insidious, incessant, and automatic nature of her bad body image thoughts. Since this particular woman loves to garden, I chose a metaphor I knew she would relate to. I told her that she is not responsible...
Children are not born with a bad body image. They learn it. They learn it from the culture and the media, or from relatives, friends, and schoolmates who learned it from the culture and the media. And since body hatred is an epidemic in our image-obsessed culture,...
It’s human nature to worry. Having spent a lot of my time lost in the depths of worry, I’ve often wondered if it’s actually useful. When it comes to worries, I like to distinguish between spinning and solving. Spinning is when our minds weave their fearful futuristic...
This blog post was co-authored by Andrea Wachter, LMFT, and Steve Legallet, LMFT Remember the feelings you experienced when you first started dating your spouse or partner? Perhaps you felt excitement, attraction, and anticipation? As the relationship has progressed,...
Tantrums are usually associated with children and are often considered unpleasant and unwanted. But what if we could welcome and accept tantrums the same way we do stormy days? And what if tantrums weren’t just for kids? Couldn’t we all use a healthy, conscious,...
As a therapist who enjoys writing, several years ago I decided to hop on the blogging bandwagon. Having received a moderate number of likes and positive feedback, it seemed for a while that nobody was worse for the wear and maybe a few people even benefited. Then came...
I spent many years struggling with depression. After learning some important tools that helped me heal, I became passionate about helping others do the same. If you are feeling depressed, I hope these ideas can help you too. 1. Catching ANTs (Automatic Negative...
Body dissatisfaction is rampant in our image-obsessed culture. In my psychotherapy practice, I’ve worked with kids as young as six years old who were already hating their precious bodies. I’ve treated people in their eighties who’ve been at war with their bodies for...
Have you ever been told that you are too sensitive? I sure have. I always felt different than most of the people around me. I seemed to take everything to heart, while others seemed so much more resilient. My siblings seemed unaffected when our parents scolded us, and...
You’ve very likely heard these two words from your parents when you were growing up. If you’re a parent now, you may even say them to your own kids. They’re about as sensible as basic hygiene and car tune-ups. “Be nice.” I remember finishing up a particularly...
This blog post was co-authored by Andrea Wachter, LMFT, and Steve Legallet, LMFT As family therapists, we are seeing more and more young people who are suffering from various degrees of depression, anxiety, addictions and social isolation as they try to mask all of...
Most of us do not easily speak our truth. Our behavior is determined by years of conditioning. We are told, “Be nice and polite,” and “Don‘t hurt anyone’s feelings.” We may be so bogged down with shoulds and shouldn’ts that we find it hard to identfy our true feelings...
“I dated her for a while, but she got way too clingy.” “I was interested in him at first, but then he became needy and controlling.” “I love my husband, but sometimes he‘s so distant that I don’t know what’s going on with him.” “I want things to work out with my...
At the risk of sounding like my great-grandmother, longing for the good ol‘ days, I can’t help but think back on simpler times when people would come home from work, throw their mail down on the counter, check their answering machine for messages and call it a day....
It seems to me in our great grandparents and grandparents’ era, people seemed to stay together no matter what. In today’s fast moving, perfectionistic world people seem quick to leave no matter what. In my therapy practice, I often help ambivalent clients...
